absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
