He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
