You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
