This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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