i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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