Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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