At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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