Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
