please come you make the beer taste better
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
