Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
