On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
