Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
