i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
