He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
