you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
my poor anus
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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