Your dad touched me again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
