a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
why do cheetos always look like penises
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's always time for handjobs
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
