her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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