this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
