So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
