Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
