so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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