Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
