We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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