i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
