great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
