Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
