1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
