Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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