You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
