is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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