I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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