I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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