brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
