I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
