you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
