Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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