why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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