If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this boner is exhausting
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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