Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
