The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
