That's intense
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
two words: eviction party
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
