Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?

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(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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(917): View more from New York City

its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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(518): View more from New York

for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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(650): View more from California

OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.

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(801): View more from Utah

Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it

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