We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
