btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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