You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
