I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
