Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
