he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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