If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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